I became involved with COSC when my friend (Community Facilitator) Michelle Newell got in touch and asked me if I would like to join the group. Apparently, she had read my book about my life and thought I may have some information that could help in some way. So, I told her I wasn’t sure what help I could be but I could sure listen to people who needed it and would do the best I could…I felt very good to be able to feel that someone thought I could do some good and so I joined the group.

What did you hope to experience or learn from the project?

To tell the truth I didn’t know what to expect at all. I thought I would listen to people who were abused and would try to help them to find help for themselves. Try to get them to realize that it was NOT their fault and to find a way to get them out of their place where the abuse was taking place if I could. BUT I

found I learned a whole lot more than I helped; I think. I got myself every course about abuse that they put on. I learned at the same time how to help myself. Because even though I went through years of therapy; I still felt to blame for what happened, still didn’t understand why it happened to me, etc. I listened to every person who spoke about their abuse and learned from their story. I also got any and all numbers that I would need to give to anyone who asks for help and who to get into contact with to find out what to do—very important info for me to have to give as I never had anything like that when I was going through this.

What have been the best and most difficult experiences for you as part of the Circles Project?

The best experiences of this project to me are the ones that we do together. Things like the Peer Group Meets, painting meets, etc., because we all speak of things together as if we are our own family. When I do speak in these groups, I feel unsure and timid of myself BUT I also feel like I have people who know and understand where I am coming from because they have been through some of the same.

The most difficult experiences are the same, I think. When I am speaking about my abuse it tears my heart out BUT again when I see a video on the subject, or another person is speaking of their pain I can certainly cry then as well. I would like to tear apart the person who has hurt them as I know just the pain they are feeling. But at the same time, I like hearing and learning about it because it all helps me as well. It is so frustrating when I know of someone who got out of the abuse but ends up going back and they have to go through it again. But it is their life to choose, and the hardest part is I have to watch them. But at least now I can help when and if I am needed to do that; and that makes me feel like I can do something and feel good about it.

How has being involved in Circles of Support and Change impacted you?

Being involved in COSC has made some changes in me. I had no confidence within myself for so many years and I still am not very good with that. Being told for your whole life that you are nothing, no good, and stupid and you wear nothing but rags for clothes did not feel good; that will forever be within me, but I have been getting better with everyone at the group helping me out. I have learned so many things with all the courses that they have given, and I have taken; about what to do or not do – to help out an abused person, or by trying to get the community involved in understanding that abuse is not a private thing, that an abused person needs their help in many different ways.

Would you recommend this project to other survivors of gender-based violence? If yes, please explain. If not, please explain.

Yes, I would because I feel I have learned so much and want to be able to help out others if I can. I believe anyone who has been abuse would want to help themselves and others as well. I also think it would be nice to try to get help for the people who are doing the abusing as well. I am sure in their heart of hearts they do not want to hurt anyone – it may just be because of their own background abuse, drinking, drugs. Whatever their troubles I am sure they could use help too. And I think they would love to be able to join in a group once a month or week to chat with people who have all been abused as well. Then they know they have support from people who know what it is like from the inside and out.